I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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