I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
