She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Still dying that you shit outside
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
