You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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