I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
