remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
