How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
