I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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