Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
