you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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