Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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