I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i think my tv is drunk
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
