"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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