I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You smell like stripper and shame
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
