My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
