In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
