I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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