we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
