I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I look better un-naked...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
