is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
