Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
either way he was missing a nipple.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
