I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
