i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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