Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
