I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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