dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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