Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Randomize