your room smells of hookers.
And success
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
