dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
