so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
How external is "for external use only"?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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