help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
