Your mouth is God's brothel.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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