she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
