I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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