nut hugger
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
