I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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