it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
