Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
