but the lizard people decide everything anyway
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
