I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
