I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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