Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
