Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
