I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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