Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Couch. On fire.
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