I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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