He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So much rum. So many feels.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
