ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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