alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize