I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to