I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
