Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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