Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
