then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
