I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The air was thick with penises
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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