We're facebook friends in real life
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
