the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
