you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Dear god my vagina.
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