I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
