No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
