do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
