Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
