Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
