my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize